9. THE TWO-STEP PROCESS TO CHANGING YOUR IDENTITY
THE TWO-STEP PROCESS TO CHANGING YOUR IDENTITY
Your identity emerges out of your habits. You're not born with preset beliefs. Every belief you hold—including those about yourself—is learned and conditioned through experience.
How Habits Shape Identity
Your habits are how you embody your identity.
Make your bed daily? You embody the identity of an organized person.
Write every day? You embody the identity of a creative person.
Train regularly? You embody the identity of an athletic person.
The more you repeat a behavior, the more you reinforce the identity associated with it.
The word “identity” comes from Latin:
Essentitas (being)
Identidem (repeatedly)
Your identity is literally your “repeated beingness.”
Proof Builds Belief
Whatever your current identity is, you believe it because you have proof:
Attend church every Sunday for years → You have evidence you're religious.
Study biology nightly → You’re studious.
Hit the gym even in bad weather → You’re committed to fitness.
More evidence = stronger belief.
Identity Through Consistent Action
The author didn’t start as a writer—he became one through consistent habits, publishing articles twice a week for years.
Habits aren’t the only actions that shape identity—but their frequency makes them most influential.
One-off experiences fade, but repeated habits reinforce identity over time.
> Building habits = Becoming yourself.
---
The Gradual Evolution of Self
Change doesn’t happen all at once. It happens:
Bit by bit
Day by day
Habit by habit
Each habit is like a suggestion:
“Maybe this is who I am.”
Examples:
Finish a book → You like reading
Go to the gym → You like exercise
Practice guitar → You like music
> Every action is a vote for the type of person you want to become.
No single action will change you, but accumulated votes build your identity.
This is why small habits matter—they provide evidence of a new identity.
---
Habits as Identity Builders
Habits teach you more than just results—they teach you to trust yourself.
You begin to believe: “I can actually do this.”
As votes and evidence grow, the story you tell yourself changes.
It works the opposite way too:
Every bad habit is also a vote—for an identity you don’t want.
> You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to win the majority of votes.
New identities require new evidence.
Keep casting the same votes? You'll get the same results.
If nothing changes, nothing changes.
---
The Simple Two-Step Process:
1. Decide the type of person you want to be.
Applies at any level:
Individual
Team
Community
Nation
Ask yourself:
What do I want to stand for?
What are my values and principles?
Who do I wish to become?
If unsure, start with the results you want and work backward:
Want six-pack abs? → Who is the type of person who could get that?
Want to learn French? → Who is the type of person who could do that?
> Shift focus from outcome-based to identity-based goals.
Examples of Identity-Based Focus:
“Who is the type of person who could write a book?”
→ Someone consistent and reliable
“I’m the kind of teacher who stands up for her students.”
“I’m the kind of doctor who gives each patient empathy.”
“I’m the kind of manager who advocates for employees.”
---
2. Prove it to yourself with small wins.
Begin taking small actions to reinforce your identity.
Example:
A friend lost 100+ pounds by constantly asking:
“What would a healthy person do?”
This guided her daily actions—walking vs. cab, salad vs. burrito—until she became that healthy person.
---
Identity and Feedback Loops
Identity-based habits introduce the concept of feedback loops:
Your habits shape your identity
Your identity shapes your habits
1
It’s a two-way street.
Let your values and principles drive the loop, not just the outcomes.
> Focus on becoming the type of person, not just getting a specific result.